Screw Successful Tampa Website Conversion Rates! I Want to Fail!

Screw Successful Tampa Website Conversion Rates!       I Want to Fail!

Let’s get down to brass tacks. The person destined to go out of business first doesn’t care about Tampa website conversion rates and does the following to ensure that your website content drives customers away in seconds.

  • Don’t answer the visitor’s question of “What’s In It For Me!?” Screw what the visitor wants – I have a cool looking website. Who cares if they like it, find value in it, want to do business with me, etc. My website looks great…
  • Bury contact information to “Where’s Waldo” proportions. The fact is that you have 10 seconds or less to get attention before the visitor clicks away. To eliminate any chance of success make the visitor guess how to reach you.
  • Make your site all about you. People love to read all about you and because you are so fascinating, they’ll buy anything you offer. Good luck…
  • Ignore any call to action. Hey, they visited my site, cool, look at my Google clicks. Oh, I haven’t done any business from those clicks. Who needs a Buy Product Now button? Click Here for Portfolio –screw that. Add to Cart – not on my site. Must be my graphics not allowing me to convert any clicks to business…
  • On-page SEO is for losers. No one cares about keywords in content, meta tags, headings but Google especially hates internal linking to pages and organic SEO.
  • My readers love hardcore, technical, unending details so I can ignore mentioning any real product benefits. I’ll just sell the steak, not the sizzle. No one wants information on how my product will make their business better so I’ll just publish an instructional manual and the sales will roll in.
  • Screw logical, easy site navigation. If my site navigation sucks, people will love the adventure of finding what they want. Broken links, dizzying nav layout, pages that go nowhere, that’s what people want.
  • People want all marketing pitch and no substance. The more Wired Magazine gibberish I use the more people will think I’m smart and the more dollars they’ll throw my way. It’s just that easy…
  • Everyone, everywhere is my target audience. It’s completely and feasibly possible for me to please every person that visits my site because visitors like a site that has no real focus.
  • Grama and spelllling mistakes donn’t matttter. People love typos because it makes them feel smart. The worse I write, the more better people will like my product.

Above is your one-stop shop tutorial on how many very smart and successful people allow their websites to die a fast, yet agonizing death taking with it money, resources, reputation and any chance for potential sales or brand building.

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